feeling california

The recovery of my demise from a recent soul-searching experience resulted to nothing. I am, as i ever will be, still stuck in that lousy game of "what the hell do i do with my life?" phase... i think every individual has this moment one time or another in his or her life, perhaps mine just goes in circles. No momentous discovery or brilliant "aha!" moment here, just the strange "hmmm..." still hanging...

This is not to say that i am not enjoying my time here. After all, this IS LA... the land of opportunity and all that. I think the whole quarter life crisis is getting to me (Yes folks, i will be officially a year older come next month). *sigh*

I wonder if Carrie had days like these.

I'm missing having an apartment of my own, working like mad in a stimulating environment (though be it underpaid and overworked) and still have time to ruminate with friend over tea, coffee or cocktails (margaritas, please!) These things seem to be a million lightyears away now...

This is what California does to me.

I wonder how NY would be like....

hahahaha!!!!! this is pretty kewl....

You scored as Lord Voldemort. Evil and power hungry, you strike fear into the hearts of all wizard kind. Lord Voldemort 75% Hermione Granger 75% Sirius Black 70% Ron Weasley 70% Albus Dumbledore 70% Severus Snape 65% Draco Malfoy 65% Harry Potter 65% Ginny Weasley 60% Remus Lupin 55% Your Harry Potter Alter Ego Is...? created with QuizFarm.com

the zen of Calvin and Hobbes

Calvin: What's a pronoun?

Hobbes: It's a noun that lost its amateur status.

sumthing happeee.....

so they say...

Ah, the game of love. Sometimes you roll the dice and you get to pass 'Go' and collect a sweet chunk of change. Other times, it seems like the only rule is there are no rules and it's every person for him or herself. You're in more of a limbo state right now, and not really sure which way to turn. Rather than trying to figure out a course of action at once, why not figure out what you want first, and then act from there?

great. I figured that out and i'm still stuck in limbo. *sigh*

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Happy birthday to my grandmama! Mwah!!!

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oh yeah, belated happy birthdays to Mark L., Onelski and AbieGurl... not to mention Toti, LizzTrinity, Jalski and Don S. :-) Did i miss anyone? ANyhoo, my memory's getting all fried from all this useless worrying... ARGH...

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Somebody get me a drink. or two. I need something to dull the pain.

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death in the family

tv deaths worth mentioning....Leave it to tv writers and directors to come up with some amazing deaths. Scoring through tv for most of my time now, i have come to think of some of my fave casts as family soothing me through my boring nights at home.

hehhe...

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a call can make or break your day

In my case, it totally did make it.... *happy hearts*

just beautiful (thanks Kitty)

someone out there is meant to be the love of your life, your best friend, your soulmate, the one you can tell your dreams to. he'll smile at you when you tell him, but he'll never laugh at your heart. he'll brush the hair out of your eyes and send you flowers when you least expect it. he'll call you to tell you goodnight before you get into bed or just because he is thinking about you. he'll be bursting to talk to you each morning just to hear the sound of your voice. he'll look into your eyes and tell you that you are the most beautiful girl he has ever seen and for the first time in your life ... you'll believe it

:-) this made me smile. Thanks, gurl *hug*

stuck

music video code by urbnmix.net
destinys child - emotion

peace, y'all!

peace, y'all!
Originally uploaded by bunnie_lette.

we're bored... so camwhores that we are, my cousin Justin and I decided to pose for the cam and do what we like to call "the ghetto thang".

hmmm....

hmmm....
Originally uploaded by bunnie_lette.

uh, we're running out of poses....

justin teachin me how it's done

justin teachin me how it's done
Originally uploaded by bunnie_lette.

ok, ok....

doin' the peace thang

doin' the peace thang
Originally uploaded by bunnie_lette.

ok, i'm not doin this right....

uh, yeah!

uh, yeah!
Originally uploaded by bunnie_lette.

ode #27

Reach out for that smile
you always have handy
to elevate your mood
still
your eyes betray you
and you do everything to distract them from looking
You look to busy yourself
from thinking too much
and you pick up the clutter of your room
hoping that you can pick up
the clutter in your life
just like that
silence
you yearn and fear it
it is both a friend and an enemy
keeping your thoughts close
yet turning them against you
'there is more to life than this'
like an incessant itch
you find yourself mouthing these words
like a voice that cannot be heard
Smile, you are happy
or so you keep telling yourself
Collapse into the sunset
they never know what you are thinking
anyway...

InDiE Rockurrrr....

You Are an Indie Rocker!

You are in it for the love of the music... And you couldn't care less about being signed by a big label. You're all about loving and supporting music - not commercial success. You may not have the fame and glory, but you have complete control of your career.

What Kind of Rocker Are You?

:-)

urock
Originally uploaded by bunnie_lette.

Don't You (Forget ABout Me)

Hey, hey, hey ,hey
Ohhh...

Won't you come see about me?
I'll be alone, dancing you know it baby


Tell me your troubles and doubts
Giving me everything inside and out and
Love's strange so real in the dark
Think of the tender things that we were working on


Slow change may pull us apart
When the light gets into your heart, baby


Don't You Forget About Me
Don't Don't Don't Don't
Don't You Forget About Me


Will you stand above me?
Look my way, never love me
Rain keeps falling, rain keeps falling
Down, down, down


Will you recognise me?
Call my name or walk on by
Rain keeps falling, rain keeps falling
Down, down, down, down


Hey, hey, hey, hey
Ohhhh.....


Don't you try to pretend
It's my feeling we'll win in the end
I won't harm you or touch your defenses
Vanity and security


Don't you forget about me
I'll be alone, dancing you know it baby
Going to take you apart
I'll put us back together at heart, baby


Don't You Forget About Me
Don't Don't Don't Don't
Don't You Forget About Me


As you walk on by
Will you call my name?
As you walk on by
Will you call my name?
When you walk away


Or will you walk away?
Will you walk on by?
Come on - call my name
Will you all my name?


I say :
La la la...


a tribute to The Breakfast Club and Family Guy

tag by psychicpants

INSTRUCTIONS: List 10 things that bring you a moment of joy.

1. learning something new everyday
2. ice cream on a cold day
3. blueberries and cereal in the morning
4. vitamin Water!
5. Prendz!!
6. having a really good conversation with someone i like
7. tasting new food!
8. gals night with a pitcher of margaritas
9. really good music
10.travelling

INSTRUCTIONS: List 3 things that bug you, things that others may find trivial.

1. people trying to impress everybody else (mayabang!!!)
2. pets dressed as people
3. crappy bathrooms

racing

Inexplicably fervent
My heart races with the rush
along with the fragments of thoughts
of you
perhaps i can affix myself
to steadier ground
perhaps i can
lose control
another time
perhaps i can
stop the undeniable tension
that distracts me from everyday life
a temporary lapse of memory
that causes me to
stop myself from doing the everyday
perhaps i can resist the futile existence
that i call my life...
will you help me with this conundrum?
i often wonder the
many instances of "perhaps" in this
so-called existence
we once called my life
I should stop this now
while i can
constantly i find myself
staring into the nothingness like the steady post
that remains steadfast amidst the change
where is the solace that i once had...
let me stop from thinking
let me stop from living

I heart Adam!!!

I heart Adam!!!
Originally uploaded by bunnie_lette.

Watching the NFL Kickoff concert was the coolest thing i've done for the week --- not only did we get pit passes (as in, 2 feet away from the stage), we got NFL goodies, fantastic performances by some of the hottest musicians and best of all, it was FREE!!!

Can you tell i am so totally crushing on Maroon 5's Adam? Ooh-lala! Hearing him sing "Sunday Morning" oh-so-heavenly is just the perfect way to distract myself from all this emotional hullabaloo i've been experiencing the past few days...*sigh* God, i just love that song...

insane in the membrane...

SHAKE IT OFF
Mariah Carey

I gotta shake you off
Cause the loving ain't the same
And you keep on playing games
Like you know I'm here to stay
I gotta shake you off
Just like the Calgon commercial
I really gotta get up outta here
And go somewhere
I gotta shake you off
Gotta make that move
Find somebody who
Appreciates all the love I give
Boy I gotta shake you off
Gotta do what's best for me
Baby and that means I gotta
Shake you off

By the time you get this message
It's gonna be too late
So don't bother paging me
Cause I'll be on my way
See I grabbed all my diamonds and clothes
Just ask your mama she knows
You're gonna miss me, baby
Hate to say I told you so
Well at first I didn't know
But now it's clear to me
You would cheat with all your freaks
And lie compulsively
So I packed up my Louis Vuitton
Jumped in your ride and took off
You'll never ever find a girl
Who loves you more than me

[chorus]
I gotta shake you off
Cause the loving ain't the same
And you keep on playing games
Like you know I'm here to stay
I gotta shake you off
Just like the Calgon commercial
I really gotta get up outta here
And go somewhere
I gotta shake you off
Gotta make that move
Find somebody who
Appreciates all the love I give
Boy, I gotta shake you off
Gotta do what's best for me
Baby, and that means I gotta
Shake you off

[bridge]
I gotta shake, shake, shake, shake, shake it off [repeat]

I found out about a gang
Of your dirty little deeds
With this one and that one
By the pool, on the beach, in the streets
Heard y'all was
Hold up, my phone's breakin' up
I'ma hang up and call the machine right back
I gotta get this off of my mind
You wasn't worth my time
So, I'm leaving you behind
Cause I need a real love in my life
Save this recording because
I'm never coming back home
Baby, I'm gone
Don't cha know

[chorus]
I gotta shake you off
Cause the loving ain't the same
And you keep on playing games
Like you know I'm here to stay
I gotta shake you off
Just like the Calgon commercial
I really gotta get up outta here
And go somewhere
I gotta shake you off
Gotta make that move
Find somebody who
Appreciated all the love I give
Boy, I gotta shake you off
Gotta do what's best for me
Baby, and that means I gotta
Shake you off

Stuck in my brain

GIRL
Beck

I saw her, yea I saw her
With a black tongue tied round the roses
A fist pounding on a vending machine
Toy diamond ring stuck on her finger
With a noose she could hang from the sun
And point it out with the dark sunglasses
Walking crooked down the beach
She spits in the sand
Where their bones are bleaching

And I know I'm gonna steal her eye
She doesn't even know what's wrong
And you know I'm gonna make it die
Take her where her soul belongs
Know I'm gonna steal her eye
Nothing that I wouldn't try
My cyanide girl
Hey my cyanide girl
My cyanide girl
Hey my cyanide girl

I saw her, yea I saw her
With her hands tied back
Her rags are burnin'
Calling out from a landfilled life
Scrawling her name up on the ceiling
Throw a coin in the fountain of dust
White noise, her ears are ringing
Got a ticket for my midnight hanging
Throw a bullet from a freight train leaving

And I know I'm gonna steal her eye
She doesn't even know it's wrong
And you know I'm gonna make it die
Take her where her soul belongs
Know I'm gonna steal her eye
Nothing that I wouldn't try
My cyanide girl
Hey my cyanide girl
My cyanide girl
Hey my cyanide girl

Hey my cyanide girl
Hey my cyanide girl
My cyanide girl
Hey my cyanide girl
Hey my cyanide girl
Hey my cyanide girl
My cyanide girl
Hey my cyanide girl

frantic

i wish i can stop time. It's insane these days, everything seems to happen so fast,e specially things you don't want to happen... ironically, when you least expect it, you end up dazed and stunned into time warp, gettinglost in a moment that is either too depressing to do anything, or too painful to even manage a smile... People seem to think it's poor time management, but i call it poor adjustment to change....

I dunno. perhaps i am resistant to change, but then again, who isn't? Just when yo think everything is ok, life throws you a hurdle so big you wanna just curl up and die.

Fuck this world sometimes.

random questions

Sometimes you wish you can change things in an instant. Sometimes you believe things will be different. But then things seldom do, and you end up disappointed. And hurt. And angry. At everything...at yourself, for believing. ...believing so much you thought it's already there...

Do you let go because you are afraid of the hurt? Or do you let go becuase you don't want to anymore?

Sometimes you wish they can see it the way you do... perhaps they can understand why you feel the way you do.

Is it too much, do you think, to feel this way? Change is a constant, but don't you want to believe that some things stay the same? Like patience, and hope, and love...

Do you still hold on because you don't wanna let go? Or do you still hold on because you believe?

happy labor day weekend!

take time to stop and smell the flowers.


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I miss you sweetie